The great English breakfast: your arteries will love it

A heart attack on a plate, the English breakfast or "fry-up" is the quintessential stomach-filler, hangover cure, brickies' brunch and a British culinary tradition even health-conscious TV chef Jamie Oliver can't refuse.

A fry-up is traditionally served in a working class joint affectionately referred to as a "greasy spoon" or "caff" complete with stained floors, grumpy staff and soiled copies of The Sun newspaper.

In a country hardly renown for its cuisine, the English breakfast is a scrumptious exception. Nowhere else would bowel-loosening beans, runny eggs, soggy bacon, greasy sausages, rock-hard black pudding, deep-fried bread, microwaved mushrooms, limp chips, leftover mashed potato and splattered canned tomatoes taste so darn good.

Slosh on some HP Sauce, wash it down with some strong tea and then wait for your arteries to harden in appreciation. Pucker tucker, indeed.